Casual Corruption
by CapturedByNoodles
Summary: Having lived in the country his whole life, Mikado scarcely experienced anything exciting. A prodigy, social retard, and a recluse, he came to Ikebukuro to study, where he hoped to nurture his craft in computer coding. Little did Mikado know, those same skills would, forcibly, be used to aid a flamboyant, miscreant bank robber. Who loves to talk. (Mainly Mikida, implied Izaomi.)


**Author's Rant: **I'm basically taking a shot in the dark here in terms of writing for Durarara. It's been a while, but I hope this entertains.

* * *

The phrase_, nobody move, this is a stick up, _is such an overused cliché, Mikado supposed it made things more anticlimactic than suspenseful.

When he'd sit at his parents in his polka dot boxers—don't judge him—and kill boredom with a bag of convenience store snacks, he would come across those old western movies on TV. You know – the ones with cowboys and damsels in distress? The infamous railroad hostage scenes that took four episodes of shouting and gunplay to bypass? Those ones; and they'd all be caught pulling the same thing.

Charging into a store or a bar with their pistols in the air, these hog tying, cattle ropin' bandits would spout the same cheesy line that would make Mikado sigh before retreating back to his computer. And today was not really different.

"Nobody move, this is a stick up!"

Except for at this particular moment in time, Mikado did _not _have a chat room screen to hide him from this absurdity. He did _not _have a television set in front of him, because the harsh reality was, this was _real, _and oh so very _not _entertaining.

"You there, pockets open now!"

This was an actual robbery.

Mikado felt himself forced onto the ground with a rough push. A crowbar was held to his head, coaxing him to pull out whatever he had in his pockets, and it honestly surprised him that he was one—of the very few—to not soil himself. Somehow managing to follow the command with a calm expression, the young sixteen year old didn't know what was worse.

The fact that he, having barely accomplished anything in the span of his life, might die at the hands of criminals? Or the sad, mind numbing truth that those same criminals were holding up a bank with retired euphemisms.

He honestly didn't know whether he should laugh or cry.

"Dump yours purses, wallets, everything on the floor and stay down on your hands and knees. Nobody try anything funny, ya hear?" A rather chunky fellow, with a frightening, shark toothed mask hissed, and Mikado grimaced. Like they would try anything "funny" with a bunch of blunt objects shoved in their faces.

He listened to what they said. Throwing his wallet in a pile, and scrambling to the corner on his knees. A few of the robbers went up to talk to the teller. Everyone watched quietly as they haggled her.

This was all such a new experience for him.

Ah, you know. _This. _ He'd never been in danger before. He was a country kid, just a helpful reminder, that entailed patches of grass and dull, uneventful days. This was his second week in the city so he wasn't too familiar on its ins and out yet. He learned quickily that the city was a twisting, turning maze of buildings, back alleys, and secret spots. People were all shapes and sizes, and it startled him. For variation was scarce in flavor back in his backwater hometown, Saitama, where he'd lived for the past sixteen years. There, everything was close by.

People's banks where their empty mayonnaise jars, where the teen had kept a large number of coins and cash of every sort. The nearest convenience store was usually your neighbor's fridge. Where his parents would ask for Milk, butter—any excuse really to avoid driving to the next town over—until they'd gotten tired of interacting at all. Not knowing what a bank looked like—yeah, pretty pathetic—it took Mikado a while to find this place. As he was wandering around, it was only when a friendly Russian chef named Simon, who was standing in front of his store, pointed him in the right direction that he was able to briskly walk here without worry. So not all city folk were scary and intimidating.

There were a few really nice people around here, if you looked in the right places.

He'd been standing in line, minding his own business when _it _happened. Believe it or not, walking here had been a last minute decision on his part. He initially said he would come here tomorrow, but by some grace of god, he changed his mind. Lucky him, right? All Mikado had wanted to do was check how much money his parents left him. Nothing special. A pretty ordinary motive, as they were helping him pay his way through college.

Not saying that he was a genius or anything, but at the ripe age of sixteen, believe it or not, Mikado had been eligible to skip a few grades. Having breezed through his school work with flying colors, and exhibiting an IQ well past his years, it gave him the opportunity to study at Raira University in Ikebukuro. Where only the elite—in more familiar terms, the _nerds—_went to harness more knowledge and become successful.

Ah hah, not that he had any ambitions to become some sort of powerful politician or anything.

Mikado had smaller dreams. He'd like to build the world's best, internet security system. He was, or at least some have claimed, a whiz in the computer biz. Having cracked multiple codes, patched himself through otherwise restricted websites, he'd helped a lot of smaller websites in the past tighten their security. Because he mostly saw in numbers, which others would probably consider as weird, it gave him the power to see what many couldn't. Yet consequently, it also made him a recluse of sorts.

As he was mostly barricaded in his room, he didn't have many friends. Unless the ones from the internet count. Not a big social butterfly either, so you could only imagine what his birthdays were like. Not very eventful – though he expected as much. He was average as average could be. Not having any big, distinguishing features apart from his blue eyes, and peculiar name. He wasn't popular.

Even though his parents were helping him support himself, they'd wanted him to finish high school. Urging him to get the experience, whatever that meant. Mikado didn't really fit in there. Not saying he was better than everyone else…he just wasn't like them. Mikado didn't really care to be the center of attention either, so this independent life style sounded great, and suited him. He had jumped at the chance.

Now here he was.

No parents. No friends. Completely on his own – and with no one to vouch for him if the robbers decided to brutally murder him. Whoopee.

Mikado never expected this new chapter in his life would start with him emptying the contents of his wallet. Even he was mildly disappointed by how _little _he had. Letting them peruse his sorry excuse for cash with a soft snort, he knew the robbers weren't very pleased when they noticed all he had were a few yen, a student ID, and a curious bit of blue string.

"What are you, homeless?" One of them snarled, then they threw it at his face. He caught it. On the bright side, least he got his wallet back. Even though he was mildly offended it wasn't good enough for them.

"E-excuse me…" A shy voice whispered to his right, and Mikado turned his head to see a lovely, young girl kneeling next to him. Her hands behind her back. Breasts—_oh god _was he sorry, but he couldn't look away—in all its monstrous size, jiggling from her shift in posture as she stared at him with cautious interest. "…I'm sorry but…I couldn't help but notice your ID? I go to Raira so…"

"O-oh." Mikado muttered, struggling to make eye contact. Is that so? Guess he hadn't noticed her, considering the hostile takeover and all. Still…now that he did. Meeting her eyes again with a shyness he didn't know he was capable of, Mikado felt the heat rise to his cheeks when his blue eyes met a worried, bespectacled gaze. He noticed she was beautiful.

"Are you new?" The mystery girl continued quietly, and amidst the incoming steps of their captors, Mikado nodded his head as subtly as he could.

"Y-yeah. I'm supposed to start this semester." He was surprised with how normal his voice sounded. Apart from the stutter. "I just came here recently too." After settling into his crappy apartment a few miles from here. But the cute girl didn't need to know that.

"O-oh. I'm sorry." She seemed to genuinely feel ashamed. "It must be terrible to have had to go through this on your first day…"

You got that right. Not that it was Mikado's idea of a good time. However, he supposed it wasn't all bad if he got the chance to talk to his really gorgeous colleague. She must be about eighteen? Nineteen? Mikado twiddled his fingers. He was a recluse, but he was most certainly not sexually or emotionally inept or anything. At this moment, he'd be a liar if he wasn't thinking, if after this mess, to ask her out for…coffee.

Or something.

That's…what people in college do, right?

A-ask girls out for coffee?

"What's your name?" That was a start. Besides, he really wanted to know. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Anri." She smiled timidly. "Anri Sonohara. And yours?" Gosh that was a pretty name. Now it was his turn.

This was the part that raised a few eyebrows.

"Mikado Ryūgamine." He replied, bracing himself for the weird looks. Except none came.

"Well it's nice to meet you." She said, falling back into silence as one of the robbers shot them a look. He was surprised, that's for sure. Usually people compared his name to some mangaka, television star, or _something _not common place - but he received no such reaction from her. Mikado's lips tilted upwards. It made her even _more _amazing to him.

Though now was probably not the time to become infatuated.

There was a soft wail. The people with them, all piled up like sardines on this one corner of the bank, were whimpering and sobbing like children. Mikado broke out of his love induced haze. It was a real mood killer. What else did he expect? Like it would make a good story to say that he met his potential girlfriend—Mikado was clearly delirous and fantasizing because of trauma, so forgive him—during a robbery. Glancing behind him, he supposed that the somber mood wasn't affecting _everyone_. Mikado had felt breathing on his neck for quite some time now, and as he turned around, he saw a boy his age with dirty, saffron hair.

Completely calm.

In fact, you'd say he had a slight grin on his face: and he'd been literally sitting behind the two of them.

Listening this whole time.

The boy scooted in-between Mikado and Anri with a bright, mischievous smile.

Mikado was taken aback.

"Couldn't help but notice you two talking." The other's tone was peppy and light. He swung his arm around Mikado like he was a long lost friend, and Mikado cringed. _Personal space please?_ "Since we're doing introductions, I thought I'd introduce myself too. Now, now, I'm sure you're all eager!" _Not really._ _Was he okay? _"So I'll spare you the guessing games, because in this dark time! During this hour of need. I, in good conscience, can't deprive you of such knowledge any longer! Especially when you're accompanied by such a hottie."

Mikado's mouth ran dry.

Did...this person just say that out loud?

That _person _laughed.

Why yes, yes he did.

"The name my chaps, is Kida!" _Alright? _"And I like where you were going with this, slick." _Slick? Who?_ Mikado looked around._ Him?_

"Huh?" Mikado rasped. If you closed yours eyes, you'd think you weren't in the middle of a burglary right now with how the other was whispering—barely, it looked like he was struggling to keep his voice low—with the utmost cheer.

"Thinking of being the hero and saving the damsel in distress from the evil robbers?" Kida teased, and Mikado blushed. Hard.

"No!" He sputtered, "I mean, yes? No?" Well, if it came down to it he would! Mikado's cries fell on deaf ears. Mr. Sunshine was now on Anri like a desperate, drooling fly to some fruit. "Not to fear, sugar tits." Mikado gaped at him. "This guy over here," the blond spoke, extending his hand towards Mikado, "is going to make sure you're safe and sound."

"That's…that's really not necessary." She responded embarrassedly, and _oh god _Mikado could dig himself a hole right now and die in it. Has this guy ever heard of tact? Grace? "Not to mention you have me protecting you." Kida wiggled his eyebrows. _Really? _Mikado thought. _Flirting? _"Aren't you lucky? To think you have two, handsome princes to guard your boobilicous self from the frightening villains!"

"This isn't a joke…" Mikado mumbled, causing the other boy to pout. What kind of word was boobilicous anyways?

"B-besides…" Mikado's eyes darted to the robbers in blue, who were trying to open the safe but failing each time. "They don't know the code to that safe, and soon they're going to get frustrated…which means we'll all be in danger." He pointed out, wary as one of the robbers kicked the metal doors to the safe as it once again denied him access. Screaming with his hands on his head.

Kida whistled.

"Huh? Is that so…" He pondered out loud, tilting his head. "Why do you sound like you know something they don't?"

"Well, because I can already tell what the code is." Mikado responded, without thinking. Probably not a smart thing to say out loud. "And they'll never figure it out."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Oh I see." Kida seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. His face lit up. "Ah!" Kida's fist gently landed on his palm. Could he please pipe down already? "You're one of those mega dorks!"

"Mega dorks?!"

It felt like Mikado was pierced through the heart with an arrow. Alright, that was _obviously _a blatant insult. No matter how much you stretched it. "I wouldn't say that." Mikado responded with an annoyed expression. Kida laughed, quickly apologizing.

"Sorry, sorry. Just, I think that's pretty cool Mikado."

_Cool? _If it was cool, then why was he considered a dork? Mikado didn't have time to voice his thoughts. Not when suddenly, one of the guys in the masks stormed towards them with their weapon extended, tsking under their breath with a sneer. "Pipe down unless you want to die!" They seethed. Then, in a quick motion, their captor glanced down at Anri, who stared back at him, frightened.

_Oh no._

The outline of a smirk made itself apparent under the fabric of the crudely made shark garment. Mikado immediately became defensive.

He knew that body language anywhere.

"Now what do we have here…?" The fellow said snidely. He grabbed Anri by her nimble arms and pulled her up. She screamed. "Wow, you're quite the looker, ain't ya?"

Mikado didn't think.

He had no time to. What do you expect when things happen so fast? He stood up. Eliciting a faint laugh from the man who was gripping Anri's wrists tightly with his hands. Chubby fingers digging into her skin. Not that Mikado planned this kind of retaliation. Sure when he was a kid, Mikado dreamt of doing something slightly heroic. But that always fell within the realms of realism, like saving a cat from a tree. Helping an eldery women make her way across the street. Not getting possibly bludgeoned to death. That was never on his agenda - but if this was how he was going to go, Mikado found he rather die trying than to let Anri get hurt.

Her flesh began to visibly bruise.

"What the fuck do ya think you're doing kid? Sit down." The criminal spat.

"N-no!" Mikado responded bravely. _Oh god he was so going to die wasn't he, but then why did this feel so good? _He balled his hands into fists. Ready to—god he couldn't believe it—fight. Until a hand squeezed his shoulder from behind. He turned around. Kida was giving him a friendly, lop sided grin before patting his head and saying good job. Whatever that meant.

"I can take it from here." He beamed, fearlessly walking up to the vigilante in an easy going, non-threatening motion. _What? Him? _"Now come on guys, let's not pick on defenseless girls alright? That's kind of lame."

_Great_, Mikado thought. Now Mikado was going to have to witness Kida getting beat to a bloody pulp_. Why was he playing around now of all times_?

"Shut up. Sit back down unless you want your brains bashed in!"

"K-Kida, listen to him." Mikado interjected.

Kida did no such thing. _What was he thinking? He couldn't do this by himself! _Mikado stepped towards him. Hoping to deter him until he got a good look at his face. The teasing expression was gone, and replaced with uncharacteristic seriousness. His breath hitched in his throat. Noticing the sillyness had dissipated. Shoulders were tensed. Feet, locked into an offensive stance. Kida was kind of scary, Mikado realized, like this. Where the hell did the flirtatious jokester go?

"Let her go." Kida's voice was toneless. Auburn eyes narrowing considerably.

"Make me shrimp." Was the crude response, and Anri was tossed onto the ground where Mikado scrambled to help her. _This jerk! _The blond tilted his head and frowned at the display.

"Are you okay?" Mikado asked worriedly. Maybe this was what love at first sight was. He was by her side in a heartbeat. Anri nodded; then they both heard it. The hard smack. A loud thud. Mikado whipped his head around to see a body hit the floor; it wasn't Kida's. In the blink of an eye, the asshole with the weapon was on the ground. Blood gushing from his nose from a punch, he hadn't been quick enough—was Kida a martial arts expert?—to block. Kida brought his hands back up. The smudges of crimson staining his hands, he wiped them on his black jeans. Chuckling under his breath. Breathing even.

"Told you dude." He chided, stepping on the beaten perps face with his foot and pressing down. "Picking on defenseless girls is lame."

"You there!" The others were aware of the commotion now. "What the FUCK do you think you're doing? You're dead you little shit!"

That's what Mikado was asking!

Then something _surreal _happened.

In a bizarre display of mind numbing peculiarities, the members of this gang, group-_whatever _started to _attack _each other. "What the...?" Mikado's words were lodged in his throat. It started with one randomly beginning to punch the other. Than several more followed, and _several more. _Until most of the men clad in blue were knocking the rowdier ones out; and in moments they were tied up. Masks dropped to the floor to be replaced with bright, yellow scarves.

Mikado's mouth was wide open.

_What…just happened? _

A teller by the bank window fainted. Kida moved towards the new group. Mikado, not knowing what the hell was going on, quickly latched onto him by his pants legs, trying to stop him. _This was crazy! _

"Stop!" Mikado cried. "It's dangerous."

He'd heard of reckless bravery, but he never met anyone so recklessly stupid.

Kida seemed to find this hilarious though.

"Don't worry. They're cool." He assured. Then he stepped away. Greeting the others in yellow like they were his buddies in arms. Mikado frowned. Well that sure was strange. Sure Kida was friendly, but they knew nothing about these people. Why had they been pretending to be theives? Were they undercover cops? Mikado squinted his eyes. No. They were too young to be cops. _So then who...?_

Kida turned around with his hands on his hips.

Voice loud and proud in all its cheerful nature, he addressed the people in the bank, who were a little more than disturbed and confused. "Hello everyone! Ladies, gentleman, if I can have your attention please!"

Mikado's face paled as Kida, to his horror, pulled on a yellow scarf.

_Oh come on._

"I'd like to apologize for the inconvience." The yellow hoodlums behind him were chortling. "See," Kida's face was construed into mock disappointment. "These guys beat us to the punch. We made plans to stage a robbery – but what happens? Togusa here totally let the beans spill! How could you man? I'm so hurt!" Kida whined, throwing his hands around one of his friends, Togusa, who snickered in awkward emberassment behind his gold hoodie. Kida roughly rubbed the back of the mans head. Lips pursed. "So instead of being robbed by them." The blond motioned towards the moaning men in blue. "You're going to be robbed by us. Sound cool? I'm super excited everyones on board!"

_Seriously? _Mikado's eyes were wide. _Was this seriously happening?_

Kida's gazed fixed on him and he felt an impending sense of dread.

_Don't tell me he's thinking to..._

"Now that we got this situation under control, there's totally no need to fear! We'll be out of your way as soon as we finish." Kida was smiling, molar to molar. "We're not as reckless as these guys. So if everyone will just stay put and listen to your ipods or something, we'll be out of your lives in no time." He stopped. Glancing at Anri. "Unless a select few ladies _want _me in their life?"

Mikado would roll his eyes if he weren't in so much shock.

The crying started again.

Kida walked towards Mikado with that familiar twinkle in his eyes.

"No." Mikado mouthed. He_ cursed _himself now for letting his tongue slip, because he knew.

Mikado swallowed hard.

He _knew _what Kida was going to ask when he stopped in front of him, head cocked.

"As for you buddy ol' pal! Ah, obviously this was fate right?"

Mikado began to inch away.

No way was he going to do it.

Mikado looked back at the other boy nervously.

_Forget it._

"That code you were talking about earlier." Kida went on his knees. Bending down to his eye level, mouth snaking into a sly smirk. "Usually, the only person I'd ever beg to, would be a women with a round ass and large, vuluptous tits! But today? I humbly request your service, Mikado. Despite having _none_ of those features."

The timid boys stomach churned.

When he came to this city for an adventure, he hadn't been looking for _this _one.

"Mind giving it to me, please?"

Mikado bit his lip.

Maybe everyone in Ikeburo was rotten after all.

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**Author's closing notes:** I plan to make this fic about 10-20 chapters, so I hope everyone enjoys this randomly silly idea. Honestly, I know Mikado and Masaomi, as a pairing, isn't vastly popular, but I enjoy them, and I think theirs a complete lack in fics for them. So here's my attempt at rectifying that.

Hopefully I can get the next chapter out soon. I'd love some feedback though.

Till next time!


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